A way better bucket list than yours

I’m not a competitive person, but I know my ‘bucket list’ is way more awesome than yours. That’s because most people’s lists are mostly places they want to travel or things they want to buy. Unless you want to travel to Earth’s core or purchase the corpse of Elvis, your bucket list is just a fancied-up shopping list.

My bucket list, in contrast, includes only true life experiences that money can’t buy (unless you shop in some really messed up places, I guess). That doesn’t mean I just listed anything that might seem really awesome. Sure, I’d love to build a flux capacitor and travel back to 1985. But I failed grade 10 physics, so that’s not going to happen.*

I’ve kept my list within the boundaries of reality. Likewise, I haven’t listed items just because they sound impressive. I could theoretically train hard and develop mountaineering skills and one day summit Mt Everest. But why? It’s cold up there. My list features only items I genuinely want to experience.

Selections from Ashley’s bucket list

  • Solve a murder
  • Jump from a moving vehicle
    This can happen while I’m solving the murder or be its own separate thing, whatever works.
  • Wrestle a bear
    Only in the wild, and only with a bear that attacks me first. I’m not going to pick fights with bears for no reason.
  • Receive an honourary doctorate
    This post alone qualifies me.
  • Escape a serial killer
    This relies on several external factors, but I have read a lot of thriller novels in preparation and am convinced I could have negotiated my way out of the hole before Clarice Starling arrived.
  • Become president of the Mars colony
    I’m not keen to live on Mars, but the way things are going, I assume we’ll have to abandon this planet within my lifetime. I’m not keen to go into politics either, but obviously the new colony could do with my fresh thinking. I’m prepared to make this sacrifice for the betterment of our Martian society.

*The final exam included the question “Sound cannot travel through a ___________”. Apparently “sound-proof wall” was wrong. This is why I will never understand physics.

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