You have run out of hand soap and are now using shampoo instead.
You envy people in prison because at least they get to sleep.
Your grocery list is MLA formatted:
Tiger, Tony the. (2017) “Frosted Flakes,” Kellog’s, n. pag.
You’re also using shampoo as dish detergent. Your dishes smell like ylang-ylang.
You’ve forgotten your husband’s name. Maybe … Bill?
You fantasize about giving Theodor Adorno a wedgie.
Discovering you’ve run out of shampoo results in three hours huddled under your desk, crying.