1. Taupe is your colour. That’s right, taupe.
2. Attach paperclips to a hanger, then put in your freezer to avoid thinking about your credit card debt.
3. If you’re driving in snow and spin out, pour a bucket of hot water under each tire. Seriously. Your neighbours won’t laugh at you.
4. Put a piece of white bread inside your shirtsleeve to soak up sweat.
5. Get 37 people to retweet you within exactly 29 seconds, and a unicorn will appear to grant you one wish.