Category: Australiana

  • Chateau Relaxo (and other houses I’ve known)

    Since I first began aimlessly wandering my neighbourhood (a side effect of being sick), I’ve collected nearly 150 house names. I’d passed most of these places many times before, and never paid attention to them. When I was healthy, I always had somewhere to be and something on my mind. Now my mind is desperate […]

  • My neighbourhood is a poem

    Lately I’ve been collecting the names of houses in my neighbourhood. Where I grew up, houses didn’t have names. They were just houses. Everything else had names, including apartment buildings, but not houses, and that didn’t seem strange. When I moved to Australia, I was surprised by how many houses had names, and announced those […]

  • Scene from a holiday

    Arriving in Australia to discover four weeks annual leave was standard – plus you might get some extra leave at Christmas, just because – was like getting a hug from a rainbow unicorn. It was not quite Western Europe’s six-week leave extravaganzas, but I wasn’t going to complain. Except that four weeks of leave in […]

  • 5017

    Picture this: It’s the year 5017. Your coffin is dug up from the mausoleum you built specifically for the purpose of sheltering your earthly remains. It’s carted to another planet and put on display in a post-modern museum/aquarium where octopuses perform tricks with hula hoops, not because they’re forced to, but because they’re really into […]

  • How to be Australian according to your passport

    Your passport contains the distilled essence of Australia. Study its images carefully during the interminable minutes in line at Immigration. Each image is a puzzle piece. Fit them together, and you will know what it is to be Australian. Australian passport images, in order of appearance Parliament, featuring the largest free-standing stainless steel structure in […]